On the advice of a wonderfully wise fellow writer, I suppose I ought to reveal to you all the source of my own grief. While the telling of the whole story is something I’ve never attempted, I am sure I could fill a book with the ups and downs of my mom’s illness, her passing, and the beginning of my grief. Here, however, is the blog post version- as quick as I can make it. Continue reading “A Little Introduction- Why I Grieve”
“You’re so strong.”
I get that a lot. The interesting thing, to me, is that anyone who has had their strength put up for commentary by others probably actually experienced more weakness than anything else.
“Your mom would be so proud of you.”
This is the hardest question for me. At one point in my mother’s treatment, she told me that she was NOT proud of me.
Friends, last week was a little sad… My dear friend James is on his way to a new adventure, leaving Nashville (and us) in his rear view mirror. I’m not crying, you’re crying! People come and go in our lives, but I hope James never disappears entirely, because he’s such a treasure. Continue reading “Balancing Intuition, Risk, and Faith in Your Twenties”
I’ve been writing publicly for almost a year now… yikes! Though it never gets easier, I think it’s safe to say that I have had some good practice in opening myself up to whatever scrutiny, misunderstanding, or judgment may come.
And you know what?
Nothing. happened. I waited for the moment someone would call me out, to say I had made allll the mistakes with my writing or my choices or my beliefs. No one told me I was wrong. Nobody told me I was weak or stupid. In fact, the opposite happened. I had you sharing your stories with me, opening up, and giving me back all that honesty I had put out.
Phew. It’s been awhile, huh?
Thank you for allowing me to take some time for myself during this start to the year. What a whirlwind it’s been. I wanted to write so many times about all the things I was experiencing and practicing and struggling with- but this past month and a half has been rather a lot like a mountain climb. Okay, maybe a hill climb. We certainly ain’t at the top of a mountain yet! But what I mean is that, while you’re on the trail, pushing through the uphill battle and the distance through the woods, you don’t exactly get a lot of perspective on where you’re going- or where you started out for that matter. It’s just trusting forward momentum and hoping that it won’t fade. After about a month and a half of serious steps forward, I feel like I’m finally able to get some lay of the land!
This is the most direction I’ve had since Mom died. Continue reading “I’m Back!”
I LOVE NEW YEARS.
I love a time devoted to diving inward to find more clarity and renewed insight into your hopes for the future. It’s a good time to see how far you’ve come and practice being gentle with yourself.
I sat in my window seat on the plane ride home, scribbling furiously in my journal about 2018… Continue reading “Grief Does Not Define My Life”
I messed up. I had one too many drinks and I ended up doing something stupid and said some really not nice things to a friend. I hate sharing this, but in some ways it feels like I owe it to y’all to show up to this work with honesty. I’m not here to tell you that I get everything right.
Continue reading “What Happens When Grief Gets the Better of You?”
I used to think I wasn’t allowed to talk about my mom after she died. Maybe I didn’t literally have that thought, but my decisions and actions certainly reveal that… subconsciously, I did. I thought it would make other people feel uncomfortable, and that it was unfair TO THEM to make them feel uneasy or awkward. What. The. Hell.
Continue reading “Not Every Memory Has to be About Grief”
This is going to be a short, candid one this week, my loves. No editing, just straight from my brain to the keyboard. With the arrival of plenty of painful anniversaries and memories, I’ve gone into a period of consuming rather than creating.
Just like the natural world follows a natural ebb and flow of rest and productivity, so too does our need to give and take follow a pattern. Continue reading “So Grief Changes Your Plans- Now What?”
The year after my mom’s death, I decided to get a tattoo. She would have KILLED ME.
Losing Mom had changed me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally- yet physically I remained unchanged. Something felt… off. It felt as though the exterior that had always been, no longer matched who I was on the inside. I had an overwhelming desperation for a physical reminder of her. I could feel the missing her on my skin. Continue reading “Grief and Tattoos”