On the advice of a wonderfully wise fellow writer, I suppose I ought to reveal to you all the source of my own grief. While the telling of the whole story is something I’ve never attempted, I am sure I could fill a book with the ups and downs of my mom’s illness, her passing, and the beginning of my grief. Here, however, is the blog post version- as quick as I can make it. Continue reading “A Little Introduction- Why I Grieve”
I don’t really want to talk about this day. But I suppose that’s what I signed up for when I started this project, huh? It’s 3:09 am and I am wide awake in bed because it’s been a tough night. We got Popper home from the hospital yesterday… he was just two days short of a whole month-long stay.Continue reading “3 AM”
It never stops, does it? Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, something else comes up. So what is better? Ride that triumphant high during the good times? Or stay steady, don’t get too riled up with excitement? I just don’t know the answer to that one quite yet. A consistent kind of contentment would be nice, but what about exhilaration? What about elation? Those are such wonderful feelings… and yet the fall is always rougher from a greater height.Continue reading “Build and ReBuild”
You know, the most surprising setback for me in this whole COVID-19, quarantine, unemployment, social unrest fiasco is my lack of discipline.Continue reading “Things are Looking Up”
I don’t think I have ever shared this with y’all- forgive me if I have.Continue reading “Feels Good to See Progress”
Oh Nashville, this isn’t how I wanted it to end. But as with any breakup, there’s never just one clear reason and it’s never really a “clean break”, is it? Everyone says it isn’t truly over, but we are definitely on a break right now… and I am cheating on you with Montana! It sucks. Even though I didn’t always like you, you gave me what I needed. I joke! But it does feel like a bad breakup!Continue reading “To Nashville, With Love”
I am TIRED of putting others’ feelings before my own in every single interaction, ever. It seems to be my modus operandi and that’s just… some bullshit. I am EXHAUSTED and BURNT OUT and I have decided I am NOT DOING IT ANYMORE. This ain’t gonna be pretty- but it needed to happen.Continue reading “Politeness? or Poison?”
This will be two separate, eerily linked posts… just…. hold on tight guys, this is a ride.
The strangest… most lovely… most surprising thing just happened to me. And if I didn’t believe in the universe being connected before, I will never be able to deny it again.Continue reading “To Cheryl- Who reminds us to be kind”
Y’all I can’t sleep.
I am upset tonight. People from all over the country are messaging to make sure I am safe because of the riots happening in downtown Nashville. I am witnessing how fear and anger and sadness and cultural norms and stereotypes are veiling the true intent of peoples’ words and actions. I will TRY to make this quick because I am too tired and need to sleep, but do you ever feel a thought curled up at the back of your head for days, pulling your daily experiences and observations into its sphere? Does it ring like a bell trying to get your attention?Continue reading “Release Your Role”
Oof y’all this is going to be another rambler, but isn’t that life?
I certainly don’t live in neatly structured chunks that all have an obvious goal, a well-defined plan of attack, and a satisfying conclusion- this ain’t an essay! IF ONLY…. I’m great at essays. But in these messier parts of life I have learned (and even fondly embraced) messier thinking. I used to think in black and white- now I get that 90% of reality is actually some shade of gray.Continue reading “ENOUGH.”
NOTE: I wrote this a couple nights ago while laying in bed. The VERY NEXT DAY, a dear sweet friend told me that some of MY WORDS had something of this affect on him…. I just…. when you continue reading, you will understand why this felt like one of the most proud moments of my life. To hear someone I love and admire say this to me… about my work… Okay maybe I’m blowing his comment out of proportion, but it did mean a lot that my work means even just something to someone.Continue reading “(A Few) Things That Changed My Life”