Sometimes, Helping Yourself Means Seeking Help

Friends, I am bone tired.

Since January, life changes have taken me along for a ride that I feel have left me hanging onto the handlebars as best I can. Between a full time job, a new side hustle, and a certification program that will lead to a major life change, it’s been a busy five months- to say the least.

This is not to complain. These are all wonderful changes, and I cannot believe how radically different my outlook seems with a newfound trajectory. But when things get so busy, when your priorities are so split, how do you find balance? Some weeks I feel as if I’m just barely making it on time to each new item on the schedule- which leads to a massive burnout the next week. The need for rest and recovery demands to be prioritized and pushes everything else to the side.

In addition to this twenty something hazard of trial and error in understanding how much is too much, I also have to always think about grief practices, and checking in with myself emotionally. Mom’s birthday is today, and I didn’t think I cared much until suddenly I was sobbing to a song on the interstate halfway between my house and the vocal studio. If you aren’t paying attention, it WILL quite literally catch you by surprise at 75 MPH. And you do not have time to pull over, girl, you’re already runnin’ late.

This is all a big setup for one glaringly obvious fact about my life right now. I couldn’t have done any of this without THERAPY.

I love that therapy has started to lose its stigma. With new generational struggles and economic challenges, we have come to realize that sometimes an expert opinion is the only option.

When we are in your twenties, and when we are grieving, so many of our heartaches, fears, beliefs, and angers are valid.

And some of them are also total bullshit.

I love having a sounding board, and one who’s qualified and educated to act as such, to help me stay accountable. I want someone to challenge me and ask the hard questions. I want to be better. But I know that perhaps my concoction of youth and loss is something a mere self-help book can’t cover.

I know therapy can be expensive- but look at it as an investment for your future. I could have… a lot of bucks still in my bank account right now. But what good would the money do if I were still working in a department store and crying on my way to work every day? And I promise you, I would probably still be there if not for some amazing women in my life.

I don’t exactly enjoy getting called out for my bullshit beliefs and insecurities, but that sudden rush of mental clarity that comes with it? That is relief in its purest form.

So what are the clues that you should get your ass in that counselor’s office? Well… do you get burnt out quickly? Do you feel like you have things figured out… and yet things aren’t falling into place? Do you feel like you’re running in circles? Are you even managing to “run” at all? Do you feel sad and not know how to relieve it? Do you start crying out of the blue in a speeding car?

My point is that if things don’t feel right and you’re at a loss, go ask someone who knows more than you what that’s all about. I sure as hell can promise that your parents won’t have the answers you’re looking for. (Love you, Dad!) And your friends are probably just as lost as you are.

As my dad would say “God helps those who help themselves.” And sometimes helping yourself actually means hiring the correct professionals for the job.

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